With the New Year a few months away it’s time for New Year New You articles about resolutions that people make, and then usually bail on within a day, a week or a month. So what’s really happening, why are we so determined one day and then watch that determination drift away like mist?
Most made and failed resolutions
Every year these are some of the most popular New Year’s resolutions, sound familiar? Joining a gym, dieting, spending less time on social media, being a better friend, reading more, taking up a new hobby, saving money & drinking less. These are all sold to us in catchy packages, usually starting with 5 to 10 easy steps.
Why easy steps?
Changing something that’s been a habit for a long time is never easy, it’s hard, really hard, but can you imagine it being promoted like this?
‘Make your New Year’s resolution a reality in 37 rock hard steps. It’ll take forever and you’ll hate the first few months, you’ll feel like giving up every day, but it’ll be worth it in the end once you’re a concert pianist.’
The reality is we are now programmed to expect everything be too easy, we live in a society that provides instant gratification in many forms, so we have come to expect this as normal.
Instant gratification
From instant content via faster internet and fast food and next day online shopping deliveries, we are intolerant of delays to our perceived wants. This is such deeply entrenched behaviour that columnists write about ‘culture of impatience and instant gratification’ or ‘I want it and I want it now’. It sounds almost child-like when viewed this way and I’m a little ashamed that I’m as bought into this as the next person. The problem though, is that when we want to change something that doesn’t come with an app on the phone, we are not programmed to know how to do it. So what will give us a better chance of keeping a resolution?
The five realistic steps to keeping a resolution
1. Pick something that matters to you. Not because you read it in a magazine or friends are doing it, but something that you’ve thought through and really want to do. The process of consideration will imprint the idea in your mind in a way that results in you being invested in it, mentally and emotionally.
2. Pick one thing only, and make it realistic. It’s hard enough to genuinely change one thing so do yourself the favour of not over complicating it. If you want to become a runner, but you’re a stone overweight and haven’t run in years, don’t resolve to go for a 5k run on the 1st January. The likely outcome is you panting and wheezing your way up the street for 10 minutes before staggering home thinking it’s impossible. Understand how your brain works, know that setting a considered and realistic resolution, will result in you being more mentally and emotionally invested in it.
3. Be specific about what you want and when you are going to achieve it by. Make proper plans, do some research if necessary on Google & You Tube. There’s so much free help out there and you can learn how to do just about anything online. This planning process does more than give you knowledge, and yes you’ve guessed it, you’ll be more psychologically invested because you’ve gone through this process as well. If you don’t put some effort into the enterprise then you can’t expect to be invested in it. No Psychological Effort equals No Psychological Investment, we can call this
NoPE = NoPI if it helps?
4. Accept that it will be hard and that it being hard is okay. Think back to times in your life when you’ve worked hard to achieve something amazing, even if you have to go back to your childhood. The problem with instant gratification is the pleasure is instant as well. The harder you have to work for something, the greater and longer lasting the sense of achievement.
5. Accept that it will take time and that it taking time is okay. When you’re impressed by an amazing songwriter, musician, runner, chef or whoever, understand that they worked incredibly hard over a long period to justify your approval. Don’t be too obsessed with the goal; this is an opportunity to enjoy the journey. I know this is a cliché but it doesn’t mean it’s not true. To a certain degree it also takes pressure off you as your expectations will be more realistic. Yes of course the goal is important, but don’t forget to concentrate on each day’s progress and enjoy what you’re doing.
So, New Year New You, or Right Now a New You. Don’t wait until the New Year, Christmas is coming and think how much further ahead you’ll be if you start the process now, you’ll be in that fabulous dress by Christmas feeling sensational. Consider, plan and execute, and remember NoPE = NoPI. I won’t wish you luck because you don’t need it, just invest yourself and you’ll succeed.
